Verbal Self Defense

Verbal self defense involves manipulation and negotiation with the offender/attacker.

In these situations, you're trying to persuade the offender to not use force against you or to let you go. You're also trying to de-escalate the situation in order to escape or use force against him.

Many offenders see their victims as objects. If you can get the offender to see you as human, maybe he won't use violence against you. Bring up the fact that you have children, or that you're mother is waiting for you.

If the offender has a weapon, try to persuade him to not use the weapon by saying that things will go better if he doesn't use it or the weapon is scaring you.

Once the weapon is no longer an issue, you can then decide to use force against the offender or seek an opportunity to escape.

If the attacker is in your home, you can act like someone will be home any moment or someone is upstairs. If you can create doubt in the attacker, maybe they'll be too scared to act out on the crime and leave.

If you can talk the attacker into letting you go to the bathroom, maybe there is a window you can escape from in there. Or you can find another way to escape (backdoor, side door, some other window).

Or if you feel that you can use force against him, go ahead. We will discuss several self defense tactics to use in other sections of this website.

Of course, there are times where you will be unable to escape from your attacker and he will not give up his weapon and be persuaded by what you're saying. In these situations, verbal self defense can be used to protect you from having the confrontation turn more violent or deadly.

People don't like to think about this, but giving in to the attacker's demands could save your life. It can also keep you from being severely injured during the attack.

Instead of thinking about this as giving in, think of it as passive verbal self defense. You talk to the attacker as if you understand where he's coming from. You let him know that you're not going to try to do anything to tick him off.

There is also the option of just totally flipping out on the attacker in order to scare him. Start to act crazy, scream at the top of your lungs, wave your arms and start running around like a maniac.

It sounds silly, but the attacker might be completely freaked out by your behavior, that he might just get the hell out of there.

It's up to you to decide which way is the best course of action for you. If you don't see any opportunity for escaping, using force against the attacker, or just going crazy, then you might have no choice but to try to diffuse the situation so you don't get killed or severely injured by just talking to the attacker to calm him down and letting him know that you won't resist.

Again, there is no guarantee that he won't kill you or severely injure you anyway. It's strictly a judgment call on your part.